


and at once i knew i was not magnificent

by theyarenotfree



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Babysitter Harry, Babysitting, Confused Louis, Crushes, Cute, Fluff and Angst, Gunshot Wounds, Injury, Injury Recovery, Kissing, M/M, Major Character Injury, Sad Louis, Snogging, idk how to tag this, kind of idk - Freeform, lol what, louis is a tit, oopsie, pre ernest and doris, sort of, until he isnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:40:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3094571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyarenotfree/pseuds/theyarenotfree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“he’s not like that, you know.”</em>
</p>
<p>  <em>harry was just so so tired. “what?”</em></p>
<p>  <em>“he’s not a bad person. and he’s not mean. he just feels useless, i s’pose.”</em></p>
<p>  <em>harry nodded slowly, thinking.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>au: louis is hurt in more ways than one and harry just wants to kill dragons</p>
            </blockquote>





	and at once i knew i was not magnificent

**Author's Note:**

> FIRST FIC OF 2015 WOOOO
> 
> i am, unfortunately, american. so any non-american inaccuracies are simply because i am young and innocent and from suburban america. hah.
> 
> no smut (sorry) because that would probably end up being a huge disaster. maybe one day.
> 
> title from holocene by bon iver aka the song that has been on repeat since last year. literally. ahaha. i'm trying to be funny, you guys.
> 
> i love comments and kudos and i love you so please enjoy xx.

the big accident happened only a few weeks after harry and his mum moved into the small town. harry, who had barely learned his way around the school hallways, had barely even finished unpacking all his things, heard about what happened on the news.

_a shooting has occurred at the local daycare center,_ they said _, an older gentleman was reported to have forced his way into the building and threatened the children with a loaded pistol. luckily, a young man, was able to tackle him to the ground and save the children, suffering from a minor bullet wound on his leg and a concussion. more news on the story coming soon._

harry’s mum hummed concernedly at the tv screen and harry frowned into his mug of tea. he curled up on the couch with a full belly and he wondered for the millionth time if they maybe moved to the wrong town.

harry had hardly met anyone in town yet, but he knew that this was huge news. he could feel the buzz in the air, the rumors soaring. everyone whispering: _who? who saved the kids?_

the answer came soon enough and then the name louis tomlinson was the most talked about in town. harry had seen louis before in school. he was two years older than harry, captain of the football team and he was fucking fit as hell. of course harry recognized him as the loud, bright boy from his study hall.

he wasn’t at school for a whole week and people just couldn’t stop _talking_.

“i heard tomlinson is going to move to southern london.”

“i heard he’s getting paid millions from the kid’s parents.”

“nah, i bet he’s gonna sue the guy who shot him. make a fine profit from that bloke.”

harry just wanted them to stop talking about louis like he was never coming back. like it was okay that girls were suddenly scribbling hearts around louis’ name in the margins of their notebooks or boys were betting on how long it would take for louis to get his own reality tv show. it was sick. he got shot, for fucks sake. harry didn’t understand how they could be so heartless.

which, coincidentally, was probably the reason he had made a total of one friend in the past four weeks. and he had only hung out with liam and done friend-things about two times which, okay. cool. liam was half puppy dog anyways. he asked a lot of questions in maths class and he frowned a lot and harry tried too hard to make him laugh.

liam did agree that the rumors flying around about louis were “not very nice” (liam was all about being nice) and he also thought that the new batman movie was going to be “sick” (so maybe harry would stick around for a while). it’s not like a friend would do him any harm.

his empty wallet, however, was becoming a very big problem.

so he whined about his lack of money to his mum, who really couldn’t help, too booked with shifts at the bakery and then more shifts at the bookstore downtown and then dog walking on the weekends. yeah harry was kind of a dick. so he whined about it to his sister, gemma, who was away at uni, instead. and she couldn’t really help either, aside from a grouchy “just get a fucking job, you twat.”

alas, harry found himself hanging up posters around town in the rain, advertising his “amazing babysitting skills” and “fantastic relationship with children” along with an adorable selfie from 2013 he found on facebook. he wasn’t desperate. he was just a bit tired of asking his mum for money and liam was still hinting about seeing that batman movie in 3D, bless his heart.

so when harry got a call from someone on his cell phone only twenty minutes after he’d finished hanging the posters, he was a little surprised and a whole lot delighted.

“hello?”

“hi, my name is jay. is this harry styles?”

“why, yes it is. what can i do for you, jay?” harry was charming as fuck.

“i saw that you are willing to babysit and i am in need of a little help for the next couple weeks.”

“weeks?”

“oh yeah. i’ve just been pretty overworked at the hospital and i don’t want to leave the kids at the daycare—i’m sure you heard what happened—and my son might need a bit of help too. it would just be lovely if you could come over after school to help with homework and then maybe cook dinner and get the kids in bed, i’m sorry if it sounds like a lot i just-“

“i’ll do it.”

and that’s how harry got his first babysitting gig.

his mum was ecstatic to hear about his new job, so she brought home cupcakes from the bakery and they watched movies together, warm and smiling sleepily on the couch. and even liam seemed proud, all happy pats on the back and shiny grins. he had a thing for batman, harry was sure of it.

when the weekend came, harry drove himself to the address jay had given him, planning to meet the kids and show jay that he was responsible and great and sweet as sugar. he even wore his nice button up shirt and pushed his hair into a curly quiff-thing. hell, he even brought the kids cookies that his mum supposedly baked all by herself.

and jay was all soft and frayed and gorgeously exhausted. she reminded harry of his own mother and she made harry laugh within the first five minutes he’d met her. the girls were all glitter and giggles. and then cookie crumbs, once they’d met harry.

“they should be the easy ones, surprisingly,” jay said quietly in harry’s ear as she led him past the kitchen and living room and down a small hallway, “i know you heard about what happened. louis has been having a tough time lately. we had to move him into the guest bedroom downstairs. can’t really go upstairs, now can he. refuses to even get in his wheelchair.”

she knocked on a closed door at the end of the hall and pushed it open.

and okay. harry was going to be babysitting louis tomlinson. awesome.

and louis was so effortlessly beautiful. it hadn’t even really hit harry until then. he was just laying in bed, wearing rumpled joggers and a big jumper, leg resting delicately on a stack of pillows and hair splayed out in every direction. he yanked an earbud out of his ear and sent a glare at the intruders and harry almost wanted to sell his soul to the boy in that bed. like, harry nearly fell to his knees for the second their eyes met and it was _not_ okay.

“ _what,_ mum?”

his _voice_ , dear god, harry would love to make him soup and wrap him in blankets for the rest of his life if it meant he could hear him talk again.

“louis. this is harry. he’s going to be babysit-“

“how many times have i fucking told you that i don’t need a damn _baby_ sitter. i am not a baby.”

“stop cursing, louis. harry’s just going to be taking care of you and the girls after school for the next few weeks, okay? be nice, please.”

then louis was scanning harry like some kind of radar or some shit and louis almost _sneered,_ harry didn’t even know what a sneer looked like before louis and then,

“you look terrified, _christ_.”

harry just blushed and dropped his eyes to his feet because his charm only went so far and he _was_ terrified. then louis was scoffing and turning away and he was like a dragon, breathing smoke and pulling ashes out from between his teeth. louis closed his eyes calmly but then clenched his fists into the blankets and it was kind of like _yes, i will burn you. i will burn you to the ground._ so jay pulled harry out of his room and shut the door and then leaned against the wall with wet eyes. she apologized with shaking hands and it had never really occurred to harry that louis could be _mean._

jay made harry some tea and they talked about some things he could do with the girls and some things that louis might need help with. all of this happened after jay had wiped away a few tears and said sorry a good hundred times, of course. and harry could only shake his head and say _no, it’s okay_. _i understand._

harry only knew the louis from school—sunny, cheeky and cute. he had never thought that maybe that wasn’t really louis at all.

he went home that day with a smudge of pink paint on his good jeans and a something sitting heavy in his chest.

monday came and there was school with no louis and harry knew what was coming up. when the bell rang for the end of the day, harry hurried to his car to pick up daisy and phoebe. they sang silly songs in the car and pulled into the driveway just as fizzy and lottie were coming home from the bus stop. then it was a flurry of excitement and piggyback rides and harry ordering them to start their homework right away so they could have fun the rest of the night. besides, he had to check up on louis, who had apparently been home alone all day and may have potentially died.

harry tiptoed through the dark hallway and it felt a bit like he was on his way to the depths of hell, which. okay, that wasn’t exactly fair to louis, was it? he got shot, of course he’s going to be a bit tense. harry knocked on his bedroom door before pushing it open, barely, and sneaking his head in.

louis was snoring softly in the same clothes that harry has seen him in days ago. harry cleared his throat and entered the room and even coughed a bit but louis didn’t wake. and, hey, when he was sleeping, he didn’t look scary at all. almost like a cuddly bear or kitten or some other kind of endearing animal. harry just needed to see if he wanted water or help going to the toilet or a new magazine. he took a deep breathe and then let his hand run through louis’ soft hair, just once. harry wasn’t usually a creep. but then louis stirred and blinked his eyes opened cutely and yawned. harry was so fucked.

and then, “the fuck?”

harry hadn’t planned much past waking him up. what did he do now? maybe he should juggle. louis sure did have quite a few balls scattered around the room. maybe harry could juggle a different kind of ball, too. if louis would let him. but then he realized that he hadn’t said anything in too long. oh.

“erm. do you need anything?”

louis rolled his eyes and cracked his neck. louis could probably rob a bank and get away with it just because of how blue his eyes were. harry kind of wanted to superglue himself to louis’ side. and then louis spoke and harry had never shut up faster in his life.

“yeah, a cheeseburger and a blowjob, please.”

harry just kind of froze because two of those things were very much possible and one of them was making harry drool a little bit.

(and it wasn’t the cheeseburger)

“jesus fuck, it’s called a joke, sweetheart. you’re giving me a headache and you look like a hipster. now please get the fuck out.”

harry felt his jaw drop and he discretely looked down at what he was wearing—his new jumper, ripped jeans and his ol’ reliable boots. not hipster-like at all. maybe. harry could only bite his lip in response and leave the room before louis saw his red cheeks.

he helped the girls finish homework and made a point to avoid louis’ room until it was time for dinner and harry had to force himself to bring him a bowl of spaghetti. he hesitated before he even left the kitchen. it was good that lottie noticed and offered to bring louis the food herself, because harry probably could have stood in the kitchen for the rest of the night just debating what he should say when he walked into the room and by then the food would be cold and louis would be even more pissed and harry would just blush blush blush.

lottie just kind of gave him a look and took the bowl from his hands and _i know he’s been a bit moody lately. please, let me._ and thank fuck because harry was starting to sweat and lottie was actually old enough to stay home alone by herself so harry had faith that she would take care of louis, at least for now, because harry had to get a fucking hold of himself. he washed a few dishes while the girls finished up and made their way towards the tv.

“he wants to speak to you, harry,” lottie gave harry a little smile like _this wasn’t good_ , like _the dragon had come out to play_. harry sighed and dried his hands off as slow as he possibly could. even slower than he spoke sometimes. jesus.

harry had never noticed how shiny the doorknobs were in louis’ house. they were like little balls of gold. he didn’t even know when he started referring to this place as _louis’_ house. god, harry was going mad. and then he was at the door and, what could he do, really?

he didn’t bother knocking, just walked in and made his way to louis’ bedside, weary of his intense gaze. louis was in the middle of a large bite of spaghetti and he had a bit of sauce on the side of his mouth and, yeah, harry wanted to lick it away. harry wanted to lick a lot of things on louis.

“you have huge hair,” louis said.

harry was so done. like, what.

“is that why you called me in here?”

and then _louis_ was so done, apparently, because he was grabbing the collar of harry’s jumper and yanking him down until he was a good three centimeters from louis’ face. and then louis spoke.

“no, you dumbfuck. i called you in here because you sent my little sister in to do _your_ dirty work. it’s not her job to take care of me, do you understand that? now go bring me some tea. sugar, two creams.”

and before harry was released from louis’ vice grip, he licked his thumb and brought it up to the corner of louis’ mouth, wiping off the sauce there. louis’ eyebrows furrowed and his lips parted like he was seeing harry for the first time. or maybe harry was a little bit stupid and louis was just really in the mood for some tea. yeah that was probably it because then louis looked absolutely livid and he was pushing harry away from him and spitting fire everywhere, all over harry.

“get the fuck out.”

so harry started the kettle and carried daisy and phoebe up to their rooms. he read them a book about true loves kiss and there were no dragons. they fell asleep smiling.

fizzy gave harry a hug before dragging herself up to her room. harry let lottie make herself some tea while he poured some for himself and louis. lottie spooned in some sugar and “he’s not like that, you know.”

harry was just so so tired. “what?”

“he’s not a bad person. and he’s not mean. he just feels useless, i s’pose.”

harry nodded slowly, thinking. lottie just kissed him on the cheek and went to bed before harry could even think to react or tell her goodnight. then harry braved the hallway once more, clutching a mug and the last of his sanity. he knocked twice, then entered.

louis was laying on his back, eyes closed and seemingly asleep. harry, however, knew better. he saw louis’ fingers twitch, saw his adams apple bob slightly. he didn’t even know what to say.

“i.”

_wow. real fucking literate of you, harry._

“i’m sorry about your leg.”

louis snorted and finally opened his eyes, thick eyelashes parting to reveal blue blue blue. harry felt so idiotic, standing in the middle of louis’ room with those eyes on him.

“how original. no one’s ever said that to me before, curly,” louis snarled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

harry was so confused. he went from wanting to cuddle louis and sing him songs, to wanting to jump his bones, to wanting to beat the shit out of him. it was a constant cycle. harry never got mad at anyone, was the thing. people walked all over him all the time and there was no problem. it was just that _this boy_ , he should not be like this.

“what the fuck do you want me to say? great job saving those kids? you’re a hero, louis, can i have your autograph?”

louis huffed and harry felt his cheeks flame.

“i want you to say something i haven’t heard before. i want people to stop acting like i didn’t get shot in the fucking leg. and i want them to stop looking at me like i’m some kind of hero.”

_but you are a hero_ , is what harry didn’t say.

harry did, however, set the tea down and sigh, long and deep. he watched louis pick at his nail and grimace at the ceiling.

“i-i would take the bullet wound away from you, louis. i would. but i would never take away the people calling you a hero. because you are the one who saved all the people in that daycare. and even if you don’t like it, it’s true.”

louis met harry’s eyes without hesitation. he was so small and so hurt in that bed, but harry knew that he didn’t want to be. maybe that was why he was such an ass. harry just thought louis as a prince might be a little bit better than louis as a dragon.

“who the fuck are you, harry? who are you and why are you in my house? you’ve befriended my mother and entrapped my sisters and now you’re having a go at me?”

“maybe i’m just being nice.”

“you don’t get it. no one is nice. friends spread rumors about you. dads leave you and your mum before they even get a chance to meet you. people lie and cheat and curse. and men with guns storm into daycares to attack little children.”

louis just didn’t understand, was the thing.

“but you’re wrong. you jumped in front of the man. you can’t convince me that you did it all selfishly.”

louis didn’t respond at first. he reached for his mug, sipped his tea, leaned back into his pillows. then he turned to harry and seemed to size him up.

“no,” he said slowly, “it wasn’t selfish. but now i wish i could take it all back. and that’s what makes me a bad person. goodnight.”

and, well. that was the end of the conversation, apparently. harry walked back to the kitchen, head full of ideas like _maybe louis just needs to see how grateful people are_ and _maybe louis just needs to talk to someone about everything_ and _why the fuck do i even care so much._

jay returned home later with a worried look in her eyes and quiet lips asking “how were they? were they good?” which harry took to mean _how was louis? was louis good?_

so he just smiled and nodded and harry told her all about the girls on the way to the front door. he didn’t mention louis yet, because that was still a work in progress and he just had to get home and sleep. jay was so fucking thankful.

harry just wanted to know why louis thought so terribly of himself.

the next day came after a restless sleep, on harry’s part. school consisted of liam acting like he was hiding something up until lunch when harry made him spill. then school was mostly liam talking about some cute boy named zayn on the football team nonstop because liam apparently had a _crush_ and zayn apparently had “dreamy eyelashes” and “luscious hair” and “sexiness for days.”

which, okay. at least liam wasn’t crushing on louis, who happened to be friends with zayn, apparently. because harry had mentally claimed louis as his own and that meant that no one else was allowed to think about him or his soft fringe or deep blue eyes or heroic qualities. apparently.

there were even more piggyback rides while he brought the girls back home, and there was a lot more giggles, so of course, harry told them to bring out the glitter.

then he checked on louis because, well, he might not be able to think straight until he checked on louis.

harry didn’t think to knock which was fine because louis was sleeping anyways, but _fuck_. louis was also shirtless and the only clothes he was really wearing were his pants. which were thin and small and tight. harry was kind of smacked in the face with louis’ abs and thighs and crotch and sure, there was also a huge white bandage covering the top of louis’ right thigh, but like, wow. he was soft and he mewled like a kitten as he slept. harry just put his hand down on louis’ chest, feeling the muscles twitch and move under his tan skin. louis groaned and blinked up at harry.

“morning. just telling you that we’re home, call out if you need anything.”

“mm, harry?”

harry held his breath. he wasn’t exactly in the right mindset to be having a conversation with a shirtless louis. louis spoke anyways.

“i gotta piss.”

“brilliant.”

“can you help me into my wheelchair?”

harry saw the chair, next to louis’ bed, within louis’ reach but still pushed out of the way, like louis was pretending that it wasn’t actually there.

“please?” louis begged. so harry moved to help him before he did something crazy like piss his pants or some shit.

“’m a bit heavy.” louis mumbled but harry just rolled his eyes and lifted louis into his arms, grumbling out a _you didn’t have to piss yesterday when you were fully clothed._

louis made a sound of protest when harry walked straight out of the room, ignoring the wheelchair altogether. he squeezed into the loo with louis gripping his shoulder tightly and set him down on the toilet.

“call me after you flush.”

then he shut the door and made sure the girls were still alive. he pulled them away from their dress up game to do their homework, promising to play with them as long as they finished it. then louis was calling for harry and harry was rushing to help like the gentleman that he was. louis was attempting to stand and wash his hands on his own and harry made a pained little noise because _his legs were fucking shaking_ and he had a wheelchair for a reason and when he didn’t have his wheelchair with him, like right fucking now, he had a harry to help. louis dried off his hands and went to walk back to his room on his own, but harry wasn’t having any of it. he scooped louis back up into his arms, all warm bare skin and sleepy limbs, and carried him off, pointedly ignoring louis’ “i’m not a child, i can walk by my fucking self, harry.”

he set louis down on the bed and helped fix his pillows, trying not to stare too much. he did that sometimes.

“dinner should be ready in a few hours. if you want, you should come out and eat with us. the girls miss you, i think.”

and then harry turned away from louis’ look of surprise and left the door open a crack when he walked away. this was new for harry, wasn’t it? slaying dragons, turning frogs into princes, etcetera.

the girls stormed him when he returned, promising that they had finished their work. harry was too taken by the tomlinson girls to object. they were suddenly everywhere, pulling on his clothes and smearing things on his face and tying back his hair. harry just laughed and tickled them and laughed.

it was then that an awful squeaking sound was heard from the hallway, along with a few curse words. then louis was wheeling himself into the living room, soft and cuddly in a big tee-shirt and joggers. it was strange to see him in his wheelchair. harry thought it made him look cute, not that he wasn’t unbearably cute before, but. harry was caught mid-laugh, pinning daisy on the floor to make her giggle. he looked ridiculous, probably. and of fucking course louis picked then to stop moping and being a dick, when harry was covered in glitter and was wearing a poufy pink tutu.

“you have a dimple,” louis said in amazement.

and yeah, harry did have a dimple. but he also had eye shadow smeared up to his eyebrows and pigtails in his hair, leaving a few loose curls, and blush spilled on his shirt, not to mention the actual blush blooming on his cheeks because harry was also wearing _lipstick_ , for christ’s sake. and louis may or may not have muttered something along the lines of _well now i have to get you so smile all the time, don’t i?_ but harry wasn’t even paying attention. he was too embarrassed. too _mortified,_ wiping off the lipstick with the back of his hand. but then louis was wheeling himself closer and grabbing his wrist and “no stop. you’ll ruin your makeup.”

so harry just kind of tilted his head questioningly and then louis looked away from him and the girls moved from where they had been frozen, watching the two boys. it was like louis looked away and the entire world unfroze. the girls were suddenly screaming and shouting with joy, _louis! louis came to play with us!_ and louis had to remind them that he was _hurt_ and they had to be _careful_. harry didn’t even fucking know what was happening anymore, so out of habit, he went to start dinner.

and naturally, louis followed him.

“what’s on the menu for today, h?”

harry rolled his eyes and chewed his lip a bit. he didn’t think he could cook anything with louis sitting in the corner like that. plus he was still wearing that damn tutu.

“wow. yesterday i was dumbfuck and then curly and now i’m h? bipolar much?”

“i believe i called you sweetheart as well, but. never mind that. i—sorry. can we please just like. you know.”

harry was patient.

“start over? please?” louis choked out. he was staring at harry’s inward pointing feet. harry sighed. with relief, mostly. but he wasn’t going to bend over at louis’ command. (maybe). harry had plans. many of which included this stubborn boy. and many of which also included getting louis to stop being so pissy and wounded animal-like because harry was a fucking fairy princess, he was wearing purple sparkly eye shadow, _honestly_.

so, “are you going to help me make dinner or are you just going to sit on your ass all day? at least make sure the girls haven’t drowned in glitter yet, jesus. what are we gonna do with you?”

so then harry made dinner and louis grinned as he wheeled back and forth between the kitchen and the living room with a cup of tea in his lap.

they ate in front of the tv, some reality show playing in the background. louis had pulled himself out of his chair, onto the couch. harry had never really seen the girls smile so much—had never seen _louis_ smile so much. they drank tea until they could hardly move and then harry insisted upon carrying phoebe and daisy up to bed. he started reading them a story, but they were dead on their feet anyways. their eyes slipped closed as soon as they got into bed and harry was so thankful.

by the time he came back downstairs, fizzy was locked up in her room and there was just lottie kissing louis goodnight and then making her way upstairs, grinning at harry as she passed like he was the best thing she’d ever seen.

and then there were two.

they didn’t really speak. louis kind of squirmed, pretending to pay attention to the tv, and harry tried not to watch him out of the corner of his eye. and then louis sighed.

“this is just damage control, harry. stop looking at me like i’m some kind of saint or some shit just for leaving my room.”

harry shut off the tv unexpectedly, leaving the boys bathed in darkness and silence. harry just needed to have a proper conversation with louis for once, no distractions or yelling. it’s just that louis was so defensive and beautiful. so so beautiful. harry fingered the bottom of his tutu and smiled at louis quietly. painfully.

“damage control? for what? getting shot or pushing everyone away _because_ of getting shot?”

louis grimaced, “fuck off, harry.”

“me? i should fuck off? yeah, alright,” harry just laughed like louis was the most ridiculous person ever, all unbelieving and amused, “you know all i’ve ever done, ever since i got this damn job, was try to help.”

“help? well then wh—“

“why do you regret it?” harry interrupted.

louis was getting angry and harry just wanted him to stop distancing himself. it was a tactic of his. strike while louis was weak, before he could start yelling and calling names. louis just blanched and pressed his lips together tighter.

“c’mon, _louis_. if you’re so proud, so quick to tell me off, why won’t you just spit it out, hmm? people look up to you for what you did. is the leg really worth more than that?”

louis didn’t even seem to have the energy to look angry. just exhausted.

“you don’t get it. i didn’t ask for this,” louis gestures to his leg and then to harry and then to the whole world around him like that really clarified anything, “i didn’t want any of it. not the fame. not the recognition. i am _sick_ of people acting like they suddenly know me. like they have some claim over me.”

louis was shaking, shoulders quivering and lips trembling. harry nearly reached out for him until louis spoke again, ten times more fierce than before.

“it’s _pathetic._ so i have some scar on my leg. great. so i’m the fucking town hero,” louis inhales, quick and sharp, like a whip, “maybe—maybe i just wanna be louis.”

harry saw how tightly drawn he was, on the edge of cracking right down the middle. he leaned closer, brushed a thumb across louis’ cheek, whispered _but you are louis._ and then louis’ face was crumbling and he was squeezing tears out from behind his eyelashes and harry just picked him up, folded him into his chest and kept speaking softly _you’ve always been louis and you’re always gonna be louis, maybe just with some extra battle scars, and you need to stop hiding and acting like everything has to change now._

louis just bit his lip and held on to harry’s shirt tightly. his breath was ragged, hot on harry’s neck. it took him a few minutes to pull himself together before he leaned back and looked at harry, straight on.

“i’m sorry i was such a dick. that—that’s not me”

“and i’m not trying to ‘entrap’ you or your sisters, or whatever. the tomlinsons _are_ cute as fuck, though,” harry tried for a joke.

louis laughed wetly, looking down and biting his lip and, yeah harry wanted to kiss him. maybe pin him down and snog him. maybe get suffocated by his arse. a little far-fetched, but what a way to go. louis looked like he might say something before hesitating and just blinking up at harry. his eyes were so crinkly on the sides and _blueblueblue_ harry was going to faint.

“can i— _fuck_ ,” louis stuttered, “you’re so pretty.”

harry just kind of froze in shock because louis was the pretty one. louis was the one harry had been thinking about nonstop. louis was everywhere and everything.

“i’m gonna kiss you,” louis breathed out against harry’s lips, leaning in close and then their lips brushed, barely. harry gasped quietly and pressed in closer, hands cupping louis’ neck, heart beating faster. louis ran his tongue over harry’s bottom lip and reached up to play with his hair, twirling a curl with his finger.

it was a few minutes later when jay cam home to find harry, wearing a tutu and smeared makeup, snogging louis, who had moved to straddle harry’s thighs, on the couch in the dark living room.

“boys,” she scolded, with a smile threatening to appear on her face.

“mum,” louis groaned out in embarrassment, hiding his blushing face in harry’s neck. his eyelashes brushed against harry’s skin, making him visibly shiver, which only made jay roll her eyes and leave the room quickly.

louis giggled, which. yeah, harry could listen to that sound for the rest of his life. but then louis was covering harry’s neck with little kisses and nibbles and harry kind of forgot his own name. his hands moved subconsciously towards louis’ ass, but harry could think about that and what it might mean later. his arm accidentally brushed over louis’ injured thigh, making him hiss and harry just flinched and removed his hands altogether, feeling awful and horribly guilty and a whole lot of other bad adjectives. he apologized profusely, eyes wide and pink lips pouting.

“harold, please stop. you look like a fucking puppy,” louis pressed his fingers over harry’s lips in an attempt to shut him up. harry just sighed and licked louis’ fingers apologetically. louis tried to look disgusted and not at all fond while he wiped them off on harry’s shirt.

jay interrupted them again with tea and harry stayed for a good hour, just talking and laughing with louis and his mum. they were so alike, harry wasn’t sure how he didn’t see it before. they bounced jokes off each other and smiled in the same genuine, beautiful way. louis was laughing, always laughing, and he sat pressed up warm next to harry’s side the entire time.

louis kissed him before he left, firm and sweet and happy, and jay hugged him tight, which harry knew meant _thank you, thank you, whatever you did, thank you_. harry slept wonderfully that night.

the next day at school, harry didn't hear the name ‘louis tomlinson’ once and liam made him sit on the other side of the cafeteria so he could stare at zayn. maybe louis could help set them up. liam mentioned, at one point, that harry looked a bit different. “you look brighter. like you’re glowing or something,” he had said before proceeding to ask if harry had been sucking dick lately.

louis was in his wheelchair, making tea, when harry drove up the tomlinson driveway with phoebe and daisy, only a few minutes after lottie and fizzy had arrived home from the bus. the girls crowded around him like moths to a flame—better yet, moths to a _sun_ , which. yeah, okay. louis probably was actually a sun, judging by the way he smiled at them.

louis managed to get the girls to start their homework much faster than harry had ever been able to, but harry wasn’t going to be telling anybody that. louis wheeled off towards the bathroom and harry only spared a tiny glance at his retreating figure before prying his eyes away. but then louis was calling for harry and, after shooting an apologetic smile at the girls, harry was speed walking to the bathroom, nearly tripping into the wall multiple times.

louis was sitting in his chair in the middle of the room, joggers pulled down enough to reveal the white bandage on his thigh, a first aid kit opened at his feet. he looked sheepish as he glanced up at harry through his eyelashes.

“erm, i’m supposed to clean the wound and change the bandages, but my mum always does it. ‘m afraid i’ll do something wrong. can you maybe…” louis nodded at the supplies on the floor.

“yeah. ‘course, lou.” harry whispered softly, dropping to his knees and moving to kneel closer to louis. his hands gently removed the bandages from louis’ thigh, and he tried not to gasp at the ragged flesh underneath.

“wait,” louis muttered, grabbing harry’s shirt collar, and pulling him up until their lips met. harry sighed into the kiss, feeling his muscles relax and his heart beat a little harder. louis kept it slow, smiling into it with his fingers petting harry’s collarbones. then louis pushed harry back down to his knees and smiled innocently, “alright. go on.”

it took harry, who’s cheeks were flushed beyond comprehension and who’s shirt was crumpled and hanging off his pale shoulder, a few seconds to get his thoughts back in order. he ignored how compromising their position was. he ignored how he wanted louis to grab him and push his face into his dick because. well, that could wait. harry cleaned off the pink skin on louis’ thigh and saw louis wince above him. he felt a hand tangle in the curls on the back of his head, just holding on, and if harry nuzzled into it, no one had to know.

louis spoke after harry had finished taping up his leg.

“i think. i think maybe i’m alright with being a hero.”

harry kissed louis’ knee, “i think that’s good, if that’s what you want. but if you’re gonna add that to your resume, you might as well add ‘tea addict’ also. you drink a fuck-load of tea.”

louis gave him a _look,_ frowning because it was true. harry just shrugged.

then louis was trying not to smile, hands ruffling up harry’s hair and growling _take it back_ threateningly in between laughs. they quieted, the air around them seeming to calm just so they could speak.

“but seriously,” harry smiled up at louis, “you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, louis. and no matter how many times you think it, your _leg_ doesn’t take anything away from _you_.”

louis’ eyes went glassy, like the surface of the ocean, and he couldn’t even speak, apparently, because the two boys just stared at each other in silence. but harry _knew._ harry always knew.

“are you even real?” louis pressed his fingers into harry’s cheek like he might turn to dust or something. harry giggled and smiled so wide that his cheeks hurt with it. louis continued to look at him like he had just done something godly and unbelievable. harry snorted and moved to help louis out of the bathroom. he sure hoped he was real because he happened to like taking care of louis, and being real might be necessary if he wanted to keep doing just that.

louis wheeled himself into the kitchen just as harry finished making dinner. he had gotten better at steering himself, no longer unsure and cautious.

“i wanna thank you,” louis said, fingers drumming nervously. harry waited because louis was biting his lip like he might have more to say.

“i don’t even know how you did it, but like, i was not happy before. not at all. i was blaming people who weren’t at fault. i was being stupid and immature. and then, i don’t know. you changed everything somehow.”

harry took both of louis’ shaking hands in his own. he waited until louis met his eyes to speak, “you have nothing to thank me for.”

louis nearly protested, but harry shook his head. louis was going to listen, whether he wanted to or not.

“it was all you,” harry continued, “you are the one who changed everything. not me. i just gave you a bit of a push.”

louis blushed, smile lighting up his face. harry wanted to tell him how beautiful he was. harry wanted to give him everything, which. maybe that was a bit forward, a bit too soon. but harry wanted it. more than anything.

“will you go on a date with me?” louis blurted out, eyes widening like he had said it accidentally.

harry just grinned and bit his lip hard and “fuck yeah.”

they were going to be so fucking cute, harry was sure of it.

louis smiled at harry a lot and lottie kept looking suspiciously between them. harry just blushed and blushed and blushed. they ate dinner and louis reached over daisy, who was nestled between them, to wipe some food off the corner of harry’s mouth, smiling at harry like he was the only one in the room. louis spread out across the couch, resting his head in harry’s lap until harry couldn’t resist the urge to run his fingers through louis’ hair, while they watched the girls finish a puzzle.

then louis made harry carry him upstairs to help tuck the girls in, daisy and phoebe pouting and trudging up behind them. harry had to pinky promise that he’d carry them up the next day. they all found a spot in the twin’s room. louis was conveniently sat right next to harry, close enough that harry could wrap his arm around louis’ waist. even fizzy and lottie had curled up on the ends of the two beds.

louis and harry made up a story together, interrupting each other and slapping hands over each other’s mouths. _once upon a time there was a princess,_ louis would say. and then harry would chime in, _and a prince. there can’t be a princess without a prince, louis._ but then louis would roll his eyes like harry was daft. _not yet, harry. the prince comes later. first, there was a dragon._

harry knew this story. he watched louis’ lips move, watched the way louis leaned in close for a kiss after he said _and they all lived happily ever after_.

**Author's Note:**

> COMMENT PLEASE I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING THIS FAR


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